Thursday Thirteen #7: A Snowman’s Life Isn’t Easy

I have been fairly vocal about my dislike for snow. Having lived in Ohio all of my life, one would think I would have gotten used to that white, cold stuff. Actually, it is not that I dislike snow in and of itself, but all the crappy stuff that happens because of it – slippery roads to deal with in the early morning hours going to work, having to shovel the sidewalk when I get home from work, colder temperatures mean higher heat bills and warmer clothing, and I have to wear a coat. Yes, I could easily come up with thirteen complaints about snow for this week’s Thursday Thirteen, but then I thought; What about the snowman? I bet he must have some complaints of his own. And sure enough, he does.  Guess I shouldn’t complain so much about the snow!

  

Thirteen Things about Cricket’s Hearth: A Snowman’s Life is Not Easy – His Top 13 Complaints 1.  Every year, the same old top hat, geez someone should pass the word – top hats went out in the 50’s! And what’s with the broom? Duh…wouldn’t a shovel be more appropriate?!?  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2. Just because the average American gains 5-7 pounds every year doesn’t mean they have to pass their bad habits onto me!            3.  Oh man, why can’t my family home have normal kids instead of those creative types?           4.  Oh, the shame, the shame! It’s that ##^%# Johnson’s dog – no respect I tell ya!! No respect for the lowly snowman.         5. Always kisses from little girls – why can’t they make a decent SnowWoman? I wish my family home had some of those creative type kids!     6. Hey, hey Johnson’s dog – stop right there! I saw what you did to Frosty next door. Stop it !  Stop it I tell ya!!!         7. I’m freezing my buttons off out here!           8. The little brat comes outside for 10 minutes and he gets a parka with snowpants, a hat under that hood, gloves and snowboots… I’m out here all night and I get a scarf and a cap?       9. Every year I tell em, don’t use tree branches for arms. Those ##^^$*# birds sit on them and poop on me. Isn’t it bad enough I have to contend with Johnson’s dog?     10. Why do people think they have to find creative places to build me? I wouldn’t be having this problem if I was in their backyard.       11. Just one year it would be nice to have a neck, a shorter nose and a waistline!         12. First they tell me I don’t get the royalties for Frosty the Snowman, then they slap chunks of coal in my eyes, and then stick that carrot up my nose . . . and they think I should smile?         13. And after putting up with Johnson’s dog and those dang birds, then March arrives! I’m melting, I’m meltingggggg!!!! Oh what a life a Snowman has!

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