Cricket’s Hearth

Know & Tell Friday is a meme hosted by To Know Him in which she presents a series of questions for us to answer. I have enjoyed participating in this meme because her questions are a combination of just for fun and thought provoking. They make me look inside myself. This week’s questions are: 

Question 1
1. Do you read or study best in silence or in a place with background noise? Why? I really do not have a preference. I like having music in the background when I am doing most anything.

2. If you were to write a book about your life, what would it be called? I am writing a book based on my first marriage. It is called, “Unholy Matrimony” . 

3. (This question is a deep one…I know it should be a bonus, but I already have a few bonus questions chosen for this week) Why do you think divorce is so prevalent? Having been divorced twice, I guess I qualify as a bit of an expert here. I was married to my first husband for 22 years. I primarily stayed as long as I did because I had been taught “once you make your bed you lie in it regardless of how wrinkled the sheets get.” It was a horrible marriage (see question 2) but I endurred it as long as I could. The failing of my second marriage was basically due to us getting married too fast - we had only known each other 2 months - I was very lonely and he was very attentive, something I was not used to. Needless to say, once the newness and the sex wore off, there was very little left.

4. What’s the best way to resist peer pressure? I told my children and now my grandchildren, friends will come and friends will go, but you have to live with yourself and your actions forever.  

5. What is the most serious illness or injury you ever faced?  I also have been fortunate to be a healthy person, at least physically. I have had my bouts with depression.

Bonus Questions
6. When was the last time you felt like you had a laugh with God? This is a great question. I am trying to think of an example, but one eludes me now. However, I have found myself on numerous occasions stating, “Now that is proof God has a sense of humor.”

7. This question was inspired by a friend. My friend went through a very tragic experience, and I so wanted to comfort her, but did not have the words too (GP, right or wrong usage of the too?). I had a conversation with her at a later date and asked her what do you say to someone when they are going through a tragedy, because I know that people say the wrong things even when there intentions were good. So, here is my question…. What do you say to someone who is going through a tragic or hard time? It is hard knowing the right words to say during tough times. I usually just give a hug and say I am here if and when you need me. 

Know & Tell Friday is a meme hosted by To Know Him in which she presents a series of questions for us to answer. I have enjoyed participating in this meme because her questions are a combination of just for fun and thought provoking. They make me look inside myself. This week’s questions are:

Question 1
Did you eat candy this Valentine’s Day? I did not think about it until just now, but I did not have candy for Valentine’s Day. I did treat dad and I to Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner though.

Question 2
What is something you do to relax? Dad got me a stereo a year ago for Christmas. I like to turn it on in the evening and lay on my bed and look out the window. I always sleep so well if I take the time to relax doing this before falling to sleep.

Question 3
(From Poole’s book) What is the best approach for resolving conflict? I have learned, the hard way I should add, to take a step back and remove myself from the conflict if possible. I like having time to think and pray about the best way to deal with the situation. I used to take the “you get in my face, I will get in yours” approach to conflict. That definitely is not the most productive solution. It ususally just makes matters worse.

Question 4
(Poole’s book again) How would you define “freedom”? (this could probably be a bonus question). The very first thing that came to mind when reading this was, I am free from cigarettes!. I quit smoking last August and what a relief it has been. I can remember being so bound to cigarettes - always thinking about where I could or could not smoke; only going to certain restaurants which permitted smoking; making sure I had enough cigarettes to get me through the night or the weekend or whatever time frame situation that might limit my access to getting cigarettes; making sure I had enough money to buy the cigarettes - making the budget stretch to include $90 out of every paycheck just for cigarettes. I now have the freedom from cigarettes - and what a great feeling it is!

Question 5
(Poole’s book) On a scale of 1-10, how happy do you usually feel? Explain. Hmmm. . . If I were completely honest, I would have to say probably a 5. I have definitely been lower in happiness in my life, but I still have a long way to go. I like my job, but it is not my dream job. It is basically a 9-5 type job. I am very “comfortable” there, no real surprises or challenges. I truly prefer a challenge. I am also quite comfortable living with dad. No real expectations are asked of me, except to have dinner on the table each night. I guess I am basically lonely. I have people around me at work and of course dad at home each night, but I miss having that special someone in my life.

Bonus Questions
Question 6
If you could choose one “SIN” that you would never have to struggle with for the rest of your life what would it be?  Wow, now this is a question! I guess I would have to choose pride. I think I have struggled with pride ever since I was a child in grade school. I used to stutter, which cause me so much pain from being laughed at and made fun of. Once I taught myself to quit stuttering, I vowed no one was ever going to laugh at me again. I have gone to great lenghths to be an over-achiever in my life, to prove to others I was better than what they thought. I guess I was, and still am, trying to prove it to myself.

Question 7
What is one thing that breaks your heart? It truly breaks my heart to hear about a child being molested or raped. I know personally what that does to a person, how it affects the entire rest of their life.

 Know & Tell Friday is a meme hosted by To Know Him. I enjoy participating in this meme because it gives me the opportunity to express my feelings and share my life’s experiences, the good and the bad.

Question 1                                                                               How often do you get real sick? I very seldom get sick. I get an occassional headache or stomach upset, but I can count on one hand how many days a year I miss work because I am ill. Praise the Lord!

Question 2
Do you usually send serious or humorous greeting cards? Why? Some of each. When I am selecting a card for someone I consider the occassion and the person. It can take me hours to select just the right card, or it has been a minute. The card has to speak to me before I send it!

Question 3
Are you a person who has a whole lot of acquaintances, or just a few very close friends? At different times in my life the number has changed. When I was younger, I had few friends, mostly because of a stuttering problem. Once I learned to stop stuttering, I began to feel better about myself and began to make more friends. As a teenager, I opened up and actually had a lot of friends. All through my 20’s and 30’s I maintain quite a few aquaintenances, mostly through work and volunteering projects. Following my divorce in my early 40’s and another major negative event in my life, the number of my aquaintenances fell off. Now, in my 50’s, I have a few good friends I know I can count on. 

Question 4
If you could cure a disease, or heal a sickness, which one would you choose? I would cure abusive behaviors, physical and sexual abuse. I have personally had too much first hand knowledge of both, and I know the lasting lifetime affects of destroyed families, destroyed self-esteem, and destroyed lives. It has taken much counseling for me to accept abusive behavior is an illness.

Bonus Questions
Question 5
What does “being spiritual” mean to you? It may be easier to say what being spiritual does not mean to me.  I do not believe a person has to go to church every time its doors are open to be spiritual. I do not believe tithing 10% of your income makes you spiritual. I do not believe “good works” makes you more spiritual than someone else. I think involving yourself in these things can enhance your walk with the Lord, but they, in themselves do not increase your “spiritualness.” Being spiritual to me means my personal relationship with God. It is the early morning talk with Him as I drive to work. It is my reliance on Him when I have a decsion to make. It is my giving Him the honor and the glory for the good that happens in my life. Being spiritual is my walk with the Lord.

Question 6
Imagine you were talking to someone who did not believe in God and Jesus… How would you explain to them that Jesus is Real (from your experiences in your own life)? From my own personal experience, I know non-believer’s have a difficult time getting past the, “If their is a God, why does He allow so many bad things to happen to good people? Why does He allow children to get raped or beaten? If He is so almighty and powerful, why doesn’t he protect the innocent? What kind of God is He anyways?”

Now that I am saved, I know the answer is not any easier hear than the questions. I tell people God has a plan for each of our lives, and His plan contains things we like and things we don’t like. We have to have faith that all things will work together for the good.

I like to use a painted picture as an example, although any photograph will also work. I point to the picture and ask what colors the person likes. The tend to pick the pretty blues and yellows, and sometimes the reds and greens. I then ask which colors they do not like. The person usually has a difficult time picking a single color, and most often says something alone the lines of, “The picture is real pretty and all the colors work together.” -which is what I am hoping they will say. I then point out a black area in the picture and ask, “What kind of picture would this be if the only color was black? What if it was only yellow?” They normally respond with something along the lines of “it wouldn’t be a real picture” or “it wouldn’t be fun to look at”. I then explain that the reason the picture is so pretty is because it has many colors, even blacks and browns, which work with the yellows and blues and greens to make one really nice painting. I go on to say that is the way God designs our lives. He uses all the colors of happiness and sadness to make us the person He wants us to become. We just have to trust Him and believe He will not give us more than we can handle. It gets difficult sometimes, but as long as we remain faithful to Him, He will remain faithful to us, and actually, He always is faithful to us once we have truly accepted Him as our personal saviour. Even when we backslide or become complacent or take His love for granted, He keeps on loving us and waits until we get enough sense to come back to Him.

I usually go on and give my testimony, with the primary proof of God’s existence being how He removed the years of anger from my heart in an instant. Years of pent-up emotions of hatred for the uncle who molested and raped me, years of anger towards my mother for how she treated me all my life, years of loathing for an exhusband who molested our daughter and stripped all my self-esteem away - all gone in an instant when I said to the Lord at my grandmother’s funeral, “Yes, Lord I do believe you are there. I do want you to come into my life and help me. Yes, Lord, I do believe.” 

What kind of God is He? He is a loving Father, in all sense of the word.

I have enjoyed a wonderful evening (I can’t believe it is 2am) stumbling from one blog to another. It has been interesting to see the creativity and the sincerity people put into their sites. I came across To Know Him and really like her Know & Tell Friday meme, so I thought I would give it a try. The premise is quite simple, just answer a few questions. How much easier can it get? And you get to meet all kinds of new friends when you check out their answers. Cool beans!

Question 1. What is your favorite fairy tale?  I liked Hansel and Gretel. It was good to see the brother and sister work together to overcome their predicament. . .a lesson we all can heed to overcome the challenges in our lives.

Question 2. If you could be guaranteed a spot on the reality show “Survivor” would you go? Probably not. I have survived enough reality in my life that I did not volunteer for, that purposely setting myself up for heartache, strife, danger or ridicule doesn’t appeal to me.

Question 3. What is the meanest thing you ever did to a sibling? I really can’t think of an example, although I am sure my 2 sisters and brother could. However, I remember the meanest thing my older sister did to me when we were children (I was around 5-6) was to lock me in the outhouse when we visiting at my grandmother’s. I think that is where my claustrophobia came from.

Question 4. What was the Best Fashion Era…the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, 90’s, or today? My first instinct is to say the 60’s and 70’s because I was thin and looked good in the hip-hugging bell-bottomed pants with a halter top! Not to mention, I was the first to wear a mini skirt to our high school. Such the trend setter. . . LOL!

Question 5. Have you ever skipped to the end of a book before you finished reading the book? Yes, probably because it was boring . . . and since it was so boring, I can not remember the title.

Question 6. What’s the most humanly impossible thing you will ask God to do this year?  Last year, He helped me overcome my smoking addiction (see my category I Will be Great in ‘08″). This year, I am depending on Him to help me get this weight off.

Question 7. What is the one thing you could do this year to increase your enjoyment of God?  What a wonderful phrase . . . enjoyment of God . . . I think that is why I miss being a part of a church family, sharing the enjoyment of God. I hope to find a church home this year.

1. To Know Him