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Reflections: What I never anticipated

February 3, 2008

reflections.jpg

I saw this wonderful picture on Scrappy and Happy in Ohio’s blog. I was immediately moved by the truth it represented, as we seldom see ourselves as others see us.

 I shared with a friend not long ago that I was in a clothing store and as I casually glanced in the direction of a full-length mirror I had to do a double take! I did not recognize the woman staring back at me. In the mirror was a woman that my friends and acquaintances must see everyday; a 56 year old, grossly overweight grandmother who obviously lives a very sedimentary lifestyle. What a surprise, ahhh shock is more the word, this experience was for me. First, I do not feel 56, or grossly overweight for that matter. I mean, I see old, grossly overweight people at the supermarket who ride around in those carts to get their groceries, and the ones who don’t, stand in the check-out line with sweat rolling off their brow. That is not me. Ok, Ok so sometimes it does aggravate me that I can’t wallpaper a room like I used to and I can’t stand the heat of the summer like I used to, but geez, come on, can that person in the mirror really be me?

I have spent much time since “the mirror incident” reflecting on what I saw and pondering over life choices I have made  that allowed such a transformation to occur. I guess I should point out that I was the teenager who never gained an ounce regardless of what she ate. I weighed 99 pounds on my wedding day and I was 6 months pregnant at the time! So, to transform from a hip chick to a hippy old lady, well to say it is very dis-concerning is an understatement.

After I saw Phyl’s blog picture, I got an idea to begin a Reflections Tag. The rules are very basic. First, right click on the reflections picture to save to your picture file for uploading. Then after listing the rules, copy the following and paste in a post along with the picture on your blog (be sure to link my blog address to Cricket’s Hearth in the description), and tag 5 blogging friends to reflect on their lives:

Cricket’s Hearth has initiated a tag called Reflections.  The goal is to look back on your life and list 5 negative things you never anticipated happening, followed by 5 positive things you never anticipated happening in your life. Take your time and truly reflect on the top five in each category. When finished, complete this statement: Considering the negatives and the positives in my life, _____________.

Reflections of Cricket’s Hearth

5 Negative Things I Never Anticipated Happening in My Life

1. I never dreamed my husband would molest our 11 year old daughter.

2. I never thought the American justice system would betray me the way it did.

3. I never thought my daughter would turn her back on me and choose to share her adult life with the father that destroyed our family.

4. Although I considered it many times, I never thought I would actually try to commit suicide.

5. I never thought anything would come between me and my best friend.

5 Positive Things I Never Anticipated Happening in My Life

1. For many years I denied the Lord existed and thought being “saved” was a theatrical performance of self-proclaimed Christians. I was wrong. Becoming saved was a life altering experience. I thank the Lord for sending the people he did at different times in my life to plant His seeds.

2. My first baby died shortly after birth and I had 3 more miscarriages before finally being able to have a daughter. I was blessed three years later, almost to the day, with a son. My son has been a rock in my life. He has so much common sense and compassion, I sometimes wonder if he was switched in the hospital.

3. My father was one of those “a man’s job is to work and put food on the table” type men who did not hug or kiss his children. He rarely even spoke to me as I was growing up. I never anticipated ever really getting to know him. We have lived together the past 10 years since my mother passed. It has been wonderful learning about his childhood with 12 brothers and sisters growing up poor on a small farm. I do understand why he was the kind of father he was, he was only repeating what he had learned.

4. I was a high school drop out due to an unplanned pregnancy followed by an unplanned marriage. I never thought I would ever have the opportunity to realize my childhood dream of going to college. When I was 42, in a self-pittying mood, I was complaining to my son about never being able to go to college. His response was a challenge, “why can’t you go now?’ My response was, “Because I’ll be 50 before I get a degree.” His reply, ” As I see it mom, you’re going to be 50 in eight years anyways, so you might as well be 50 with a degree as 50 without a degree.” Like I said, so much common sense! And so I went on to graduate 5 years later.

5. I always knew how important a grandmother is to their grandchildren, but I never realized how important grandchildren would be to me. I cherish each moment I get to spend with my grandchildren. They all are so different and it is so wonderful watching them grow. They give me hope for the future.

Considering the negatives and positives in my life, I clearly see how people have influenced my life and how I have allowed the negatives to outweigh the positives. 

My 5 blogging friends I challenge for Reflection are:

greatfullivin    Scrappy and Happy    Jadey     Hootin Anni     To Know Him

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. February 3, 2008 5:28 pm

    I am so tickled that you used the picture….I was considering doing something similar. You go, girl.

    Ok, so you got me…lol. I will do my entry and come back and leave you a link!

    I am adding you to my daily prayer list. I loved hearing about how Jesus wooed you. He does that, you know…just sends people to plant seeds or water them, and boom…next thing you know you are saved and head-over-heels in love with Him:).

    Many many hugs,

    Phyl

    ** Thank you Phyl, I can use all the prayers I can get! LOL I actually plan to write a post about becoming saved soon. It will most likely be a 2 or 3 part post. I am so happy I saw your picture. It is one of my very favorites. Blessings, Cricket

  2. February 3, 2008 7:46 pm

    well I am honored to be tagged by a new blogging buddy. I am going to take this challenge and do the best that I can do with it. so feel free to come and check mine out should be up soon.

    **What a quick response Jadey! I enjoyed reading your lists, but your final recap was wonderful. Blessings, Cricket

  3. February 3, 2008 8:13 pm

    Oh, I was shocked to read the negative things that happened, but so happy to read the good things, especially the first one! 🙂

    ~*Ciao*~

    ** Hi, thank you for the visit Morgan. Yes, my life has had some major downers. I can laugh about this now, but when I did my stupid suicide trick and ended up in a hospitial, I had to talk with a psychologist who, after listing to my story, blurted out, “Wow, its a wonder you didn’t try to kill yourself before this! I don’t know too many people who could have gone through all this and lived to tell about it” LOL So much for professional detachment! Blessings, Cricket

  4. February 4, 2008 1:27 pm

    You have been tagged! Go here: http://scrappynhappy.blogspot.com/2008/02/you-can-only-type-one-word.html

    BTW, I am still working on my post for your meme/tag.

    Hugs,

    Phyl

    **OK, mine will be up shortly. Blessings, Cricket

  5. Carol permalink
    February 4, 2008 1:54 pm

    Cricket, You are a real inspiration to women everywhere! You have been through a lot and yet you still can count your blessings. So many people waste their life complaining about their circumstances and you moved on! To post what you did on your blog has got to be a real healing experience…first to express everything publicly and then to give equal weight to the positives in your life has got to “set you free” in a sense. You have a lot of life left to live and I think moving forward you will be a very happy, inspired person. Just remember if things ever get you down in the future, you are not alone! There are people out there who care and want to be there for you!

    **Thank you for your kind words. I do hope I can help someone through my blogging. If I have learned nothing else through my life and through my walk with God, it is that He allows things to happen for a reason, and all things will work together for the good if we trust Him and follow His will. Blessings, Cricket

  6. February 4, 2008 4:28 pm

    It’s up…just havent picked 5 ppl to tag yet:).

    http://scrappynhappy.blogspot.com/2008/02/crickets-hearth-has-initiated-tag.html

    Hugs!

    **Cool, I be right over! Blessings, Cricket

  7. February 4, 2008 10:05 pm

    Wow…God sure has done some work in your life! Thank you for being so open!

    **Thank you for stopping in for a visit. And yes God has done alot for me and in me. And best of all, He isn’t done yet! Blessings, Cricket

  8. January 14, 2009 12:42 pm

    I would love to join,but I am really new to this blogging stuff,and I have not learned how to cut and paste and a lot of other things.Maybe when I do…I really enjoyed the site and your lists…I to am over 50,and learning…
    Thanks again,Cheryl

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