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Sunday Scribblings: Passion – A One Night Stand

February 23, 2008

 Passion: A One Night Stand

Three months prior to my 39th birthday, I was sharing the woes of my love life with a very wise and close friend. I had been married for over 22 years and my divorce had only been final a few months. “What you need is a one-night stand!” she very expertly advised. I didn’t know if I could do this . . . I mean, actually getting naked with someone I did not know???

I should tell you that I was not a total prude. I was a flower child from the 60’s after all – the sex, drugs and rock & roll generation. An early marriage at 16 is testimony to my being “open” to the physical side of life. Plus, the fact I married the most degenerate of all sexual degenerates had afforded me enough sexual knowledge for a definite best-seller. And, I still think my ex sold copy writes to the producers of Bob & Carol and Ted & Alice. But, even with all this experience, under my belt so to speak, I was not too sure about doing “it” with a total stranger. But then . . .

I had an early morning conference in Columbus, which I was not overly excited about attending, and which also required spending the night before to avoid the rush hour mayhem. I asked my friend Evelyn, the wise one, to go along so at least a night in the city wouldn’t be a total waste. We arrived early and of course hit the malls. After several hours of shopping, we went to our hotel and got settled in. We decided a visit to the hotel lounge would be a nice start to the evening’s entertainment.

Why is that two women sitting at a table in a lounge, obviously having a lively conversation while sharing a few drinks, is a sign that male attention is needed? It must be an unwritten law of the testosterone universe. Anyways, there we were, enjoying our drinks when two average looking guys decided they would come to our rescue. They brought copies of our drinks as a peace offering, along with the line, “Have we seen you ladies in here before?” After a few more drinks and dinner, at our gentlemen caller’s request and expense, the wise one and I had to make a visit to the Ladies Room. “This is your chance for true passion!” she advised me, “Sex with no strings, no commitments, no I’ll call you’s. Just pure passion!”

I will have to admit my conversation with Jim-Bob (I still can’t remember his name) had begun to get heated. It seems he was a big-wig in some regional union organization in town for a convention, a Democrat, and a draft-dodger; needless to say, not exactly the endearing qualities I was looking for in a man. But then, I reminded myself, you are not looking for a man, just a one-night stand. And, through my alcohol-enhanced vision, he was beginning to look pretty good. So, wise one and I stumbled our way back to the table and, after another drink or two, I gave Jim-Bob the signal this was going to be his lucky night.   

Once in his hotel room, what I had envisioned as an evening of unbridled passion turned out to be ten minutes of wham-bam-thank-you-mam followed by an awkward silence that I had never known before, or since. After more minutes than it took to do “it”, Jim-Bob finally broke the ice by asking me what I did for a living (obviously he forgot the details of our previous three-hour conversation). This actually led to further conversation so interesting that I had forgotten we were both still naked under the sheets.

At some point, Jim-Bob asked me what kind of books I liked to read. Now, having gained a sense of comfortableness, I leaned over the side of the bed to get a cigarette out of my purse and propped myself up on my elbows so I could smoke. “I like to read most anything.” I began, and we discussed several books we had both read. “But I must say, my very favorite are books on serial killers.” I did not notice Jim-Bob had made a slight move away from me as I continued talking about Ted Bundy and then the Michigan murders, adding that though it was rare, there were female serial killers. “I keep thinking if I read enough books about serial killers, I will be able to figure out what would motivate someone to kill a complete stranger. Do you ever think about that?” I asked as I looked in his direction while moving my arm below the edge of the bed to put my cigarette out in the ashtray sitting on the floor.

Now let me tell you, after his performance an hour earlier, I did not think it was possible for Jim-Bob to move any faster, but he proved me wrong. He was up and out of that bed so fast he stumbled and fell to the floor. “Is this where you pull a knife or gun out of that purse and kill me?” he cried as he pulled himself up and backed into the corner. I was so stunned by his reaction to a simple question, it took me a few seconds to put it all together, especially since he was standing there, with all his manhood standing at full attention, visibly shaking down to the last bone in his body. Once the implications of my reading preferences finally registered, given the circumstance of our meeting and our current locale, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. I laughed so hard I cried, rolling back and forth on the bed, and ended up running to the bathroom to keep from peeing the bed.

After I gained control of both my laughter and bodily functions, I had to walk out and face this nameless man, in my nakedness I might add, who thought it possible I was a serial killer stalking unsuspecting horny men in hotel bars. I have often wondered how he tells this story. I can tell you, it did indeed turn out to be his lucky night, and passion is definitely in his version!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I hope you have enjoyed my entry to Sunday Scribblings prompt, “Passion”. For more interesting takes on “Passion”, please check out any of the following:

~ lissa ~ Linda Jacobs ~ AscenderRisesAbove ~ Caroline ~ Colleen ~ anno ~ tumblewords ~

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15 Comments leave one →
  1. February 24, 2008 12:18 am

    Girl…u have me rotflmao…whew~

    Ok…the reason I stopped over is this: The link to Alana’s tag site..
    http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/cgs_always1/

    Where it asks why you wanna join, tell her you are a friend of mine. That’s a guaranteed admission…lol.

    ~ So glad you got a chuckle out of this. I will have to say I still laugh, sometimes uncontrollably, when I think about it. It’s a picture that is hard to get out of your mind. LOL Thanks for the link and the help getting accepted.

  2. February 24, 2008 7:38 am

    Oh, man. That is one of the best stories I’ve heard in a LONG time! That’s just hysterical!!!!

    ~ Thank you for visiting Susan. I can’t say how much it thrills me to read the reactions to my scribblings!

  3. February 24, 2008 8:36 am

    wow! what a story. I would think he would have ran out of there naked and all instead of asking if you’re going kill him. great story.

    ~ Unfortuantely for him, he had fallen out on the wrong side of the bed and thought he was trapped between the bed and the wall. I guess he was too shook to realize that his being 6 feet tall had a distinct advantage to my only being 5 feet tall. It is amazing what fear does to the mind. Thank you for visiting this morning.

  4. February 24, 2008 9:32 am

    You are such an excellent writer! The suspense was meted out perfectly and the humorous comments had me cracking up!

    ~ Thank you Linda for your visit and your praise. This has to be one of the, if not the, funniest experiences in my life – and we both lived to tell about it!

  5. February 24, 2008 11:14 am

    thanks for the interesting read.
    btw; your link has a “,” in it instead of a “.” so the link is not working for sunday scribblings

    ~ Thank you for visiting and for the heads up.

  6. February 24, 2008 12:25 pm

    Brilliant story – you had me riveted!

    ~ I am so happy you enjoyed it. Thank you for visiting and please come back.

  7. February 24, 2008 12:32 pm

    I think one night stands are overrated. This one was a hoot! I don’t think you can make this stuff up.

    ~ LOL, yes, truth is so much more strange than fiction. Isn’t it amazing how we manage to survive. Thanks for visiting and please stop by again.

  8. February 24, 2008 3:10 pm

    Great story! It’s been a while since I’ve been the victim of unwanted attention, but now I know the cure…

    ~ Thank you for visiting. I am happy you enjoyed my story.

  9. February 24, 2008 8:04 pm

    Consider the suspence ended…lol.

    http://scrappynhappy.blogspot.com/2008/02/writers-islandmy-first-time.html

    ~ I am so happy you decided to participate in Writer’s Island.

  10. February 25, 2008 12:20 am

    What a hoot you are. This story is as funny as it was almost twenty years ago! BTW,….I have tagged you!

    ~ Wow, amazing how fast 20 years fly by. Those were the days! And best of all, we survived!

  11. February 25, 2008 10:14 am

    That is so, so funny! hahaha. Best. Story. Ever.

    ~ Thanks, so glad you enjoyed a night out of my past!

  12. February 25, 2008 2:46 pm

    hey…just wanted to see if u filled in the database at the tag group. if not i can do it for you…just need to know what name you want on your tags:).

  13. February 25, 2008 6:54 pm

    One of the funniest stories I’ve read in a long danged time. Superbly told and hilariously honest!

    ~ Thank You for the praise! You do realize you are only encouraging me to write more of this stuff!

  14. lisrobbe permalink
    February 27, 2008 1:45 pm

    That was one of the best one night stand stories I’ve head of. What a great human element that slipped in there to take away the usual awkwardness. Thanks for stopping by my blog.

  15. greyscaleterritory permalink
    March 9, 2008 5:36 pm

    This is utterly beyond hilarious! A romp in the sheets becomes a centre stage act! Amazing how just a few stray words create a new kind of passion, like abject fear!

    Brilliant!

    Gemma

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