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Sweet Dreams – Harsh Reality

February 22, 2009

I am sure Selma’s prompt this week at Search Engine Stories, Sweet Dreams, will reap many interesting love stories, and I guess mine is to. I hope you will enjoy listening to one of my very favorite songs by my absolutely most favorite country singer, the one and only Miss Patsy Cline.

Sweet Dreams – Harsh Reality

I received a phone call this morning just as I was making my morning coffee. The conversation began like this;

“Hello.” I answered.

“Hello.” he replied.

Silence. Followed by more silence.

“Hello. Don’t you recognize my voice.” he questioned.

“Yes, yes I did. I was just stunned. I thought you were dead.” I replied.

The voice on the phone was my husband’s. I had not heard from him in almost two years and I truly had come to believe he had indeed died. In a previous post ( https://cricket51.wordpress.com/2008/10/31/the-stars-were-aligned-with-mars/?preview=true&preview_id=437&preview_nonce=12965c6a75 ) I wrote about how we met and why our marriage didn’t last. Ever since I wrote that post, I have had regular dreams about Harvey. Most times they are sweet dreams about what could have been.

I think my dreams were because I truly thought he had died since I hadn’t heard from him in so long. Since our separation, Harvey usually called me three times a year; usually in the Spring, again in early August once he remembered he forgot our July 31 anniversary, and again sometime around Christmas. I would call him on his birthday in November. Our last conversation was in April of 2007 with him calling to tell me he had moved to the UpperPenninsula in Michigan following a partial foot amputation due to his diabetes. Since I did not hear from him, I tried several times to locate him through his daughters and friends, but no one had seen or heard from him since a few months after he last called me. Last spring, I even went through a people finder’s company and paid to find out where he was. They could not locate him and said if he died it could take several years for the death to show up in the records they had access to. I began to believe he had indeed died while passing through a strange town after moving from his daughter’s house.  As the months and years passed with no one hearing from him, I became more convinced.

I find it strange that the more convinced I became of his death, the more dreams I would have. I think part of having such wonderful dreams about him came from knowing it could never be since he was dead – something to do with not speaking bad of the dearly departed as my grandmother would always say. Of course, I know our marriage had its good times and I will admit I do miss those parts. Many times I would wake during a dream and become angry and speak into the darkness of my room, “Dammit Harvey why don’t you call me?”

He called me this morning. He has been very ill, going from hospital to nursing home back to the hospital for the past 18 months. He had his right leg amputated at the knee and is now walking with a prosthesis. He chose to call no one, partly because he felt no one would care, which he said he understood why they wouldn’t. He now has an apartment and called an old friend 2 days ago and learned I was trying to find him. We talked for almost two hour this morning and by the end of the conversation I was drained.

Now I know I am not a widow. I wonder what my dreams will be tonight.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. February 22, 2009 7:26 am

    What an incredible story, Cricket. It must have been such a shock to hear Harvey’s voice again after presuming he was dead. It sounds like he has been having a terrible time. But then you have too, worrying what became of him. I also wonder what you will dream tonight!

  2. February 22, 2009 1:50 pm

    Wow, this is an incredible story. I’m glad you have some sweet dreams to dream about your marriage to Harvey. Most of us don’t when we divorce a spouse (I sure didn’t ) You write such interesting stories Cricket, thanks for sharing. Hugs, G

  3. February 23, 2009 3:47 pm

    wow! I wouldn’t know how to react to hear from someone who was thought to be dead, what a story, I think we miss people more when we know it could never be

  4. February 23, 2009 7:21 pm

    God has His hands in your phone conversation with your ex-husband. I praise the Lord He is alive and wanted to talk to you.

    Love and Hugs,
    Joyce

  5. February 26, 2009 8:06 pm

    such an amazing story – I too wonder what you will dream – so fascinating that your dreams involving him increased while you thought he was dead – the universe letting you know that you should keep an ear to the ground perhaps – and I’m with lissa, I can’t imagine what I’d do if someone I thought was dead phoned me up – wishing you restful nights, and peaceful dreaming

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